I less than three ice.

I’m obsessed with ice. I don’t mean this to be slang for diamonds, meth or any illicit street drug for that matter. I mean water in its frozen solid state. Now that we have that clear (pun totally intended), let’s move on, shall we?

Obviously, there are several different shapes and sizes of ice. Before I begin my "analysis," here is a list of the basic types of ice that we find at restaurants, gas stations, etc.: The Half-Moon, The Waffle, Cube with a Hole, and Crushed.

1. “The Half-Moon” – This is the standard shape of ice that comes out of most ice-makers in refrigerators. I hate this type. Even after you’ve poured some drink on top of it, it doesn’t melt down enough for you to be able to chew on it after. It fulfills its purpose of chilling your beverage, but I need an ice cube that I can chew on after I’ve finished my drink. This is the ice I have at home, so I tend to just pop it in my Oster brand blender (great for crushing ice) and give it a quick whirl.

2. “The Waffle” – Rectangular shaped, this type of ice usually comes attached to its kind. The rectangles on their own are small enough to be considered chewable, but they usually are attached in a chain or grid. You’d have to separate them from each other before you actually could eat any of them, and that’s just too much effort. The ideal cube requires the least amount of work from the consumer.

3. “Cube with a Hole” – This type of ice comes in a small, perfectly cubical shape and has a hole in one of the sides. Sometimes if you don’t drink your drink fast enough, this cube will melt into your drink, but usually that’s only an issue when you’re pouring a drink that’s on the warm side. This shape though is perfect for chewing; it’s small enough and doesn’t require much of a bite because of the space in the middle.

4. “Crushed” – I don’t think I have to explain this one that much. This is the type of ice you find at Sonic, Which Wich...I mean it’s crushed ice. This one seems like the perfect ice to chew on, but it’s really not. After a while, you start to taste some sort of chemical in the ice and you begin to feel a little sick. Not to mention this ice melts really fast and tends to water down your drink.

The winner, of course, would be number three.

Now, if you’re someone like me who is obsessed with ice, you probably fill your cup up with ice almost completely before putting any beverage in it. I’ve actually perfected my ice to fountain drink ratio. You fill your cup up ¾ of the way, start pouring your drink and count to 12. The fizzy part will hit the tip of the cup but not enough for it to overflow. That is just enough coke to drink while you eat, and after, your ice has melted down to be perfect for chewing/eating. You can’t always pour your own drink when you go out to eat, so in that situation I tend to just ask for extra ice and hope that they get it right. When my best friend orders my drink, he actually asks, “Can I get a cup of ice with some coke, please?”

At this point, I think you should wait until the next time you have a drink with ice before you doubt my mental stability. If you don’t think of me, then there’s something wrong with your memory.